Marriage is a holy institution headed by Christ. It entails a lot
of sacrifices in love on the parts of the couples. The husband should love his
wife as Christ loves his church. And what Christ is to his church so must a
husband be to his wife, a Pastor and a Comforter.
Love is the Bridegroom's commandment. It is not the deed of a man
but of God that, a man should love his wife. Christ as the shepherd of the
Church, loves and protects her. He takes care to ensure that no sheep goes
astray. The husband has the same duty towards his wife.
To marry is not a difficult thing. But can you be the keeper and
lover of your wife? This means laying down your life for your wife. If the
marital home is not at peace, the husband is answerable. He is not a good
Pastor.
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If the wife goes astray, and perishes, God will demand her soul
from her husband. God does not know the woman, but he places everything under
the care of the man. And God uses the responsibility of caring for the wife to
test the man to see whether he will love his wife as Christ loves him (the
husband).
If a husband wants to apply God's example of love to wedlock, he
should first of all, ask himself whether he has received his instructions.
Christ is telling all husbands to take good care of their wives and children,
and to keep them as a good Pastor does his flock - guiding his wife that the
sheep may live. He has warned us, that if a man does not love his wife, his
prayers will not be heard by God.
But, how many husbands today are ready to learn from Christ? For
our sake, Christ suffered to the end; so that for our wives' sake, we may
likewise suffer as good Shepherds.
What day has Christ scourged you? What day has He cursed or
pronounced woe unto you? What day has He refused to give you food? or has He
said unto you: "From today, I don't want you again, go away to your
mother." What day has Christ told you " This house is mine, I do not
want you"? Has He ever told you not to touch anything because you have
brought nothing into this world? No, never! Christ is the Bridegroom without
blemish.
But contrary to Christ's expectations, husbands today are selfish
and cause division in the home. They maintain strictly exclusive ownership over
this or that thing in the house, whereas, a husband and a wife should have the
same right over everything in the house.
They should share the same trunk box, spoon, plate and cup. There
should be no harm in the husband using the wife's wrappers and vice-versa -
they should have everything in common.
Yet, instead of heeding Christ's instructions, some husbands treat
their wives spitefully, disgracing them whenever and wherever they like. They
boast that they can marry as many women as they like and in their foolishness,
forget that any Pastor who cannot take care of a single sheep, cannot in anyway
be safely entrusted with two; let alone more.
THE CONSEQUENCES:
Look around the world today and see how men suffer the
consequences of the ill-treatment they give the wives. Through their
negligence, they wreck marital homes. Tribulations, litigations, fear, illness
and death are among the things any husband, who does not love his wife, is most
liable to suffer.
DANGER IN POLYGAMY:
Since it is so difficult to successfully be the husband of one
wife, polygamy is a real danger we should dread. The man who ill-treats his
wife with the hope that he can marry another tomorrow, should note the danger
to which he has exposed himself. This gospel has peace to offer to those who
practice it, and war to wage against all those who do not practice it.
Ephesians 5:25
"Husbands love your wives even as Christ also loved the
church and gave Himself for it."
Some people claim that they are behaving as Europeans, first, by
living a happy marital life. This is not true. The only fact is that Europeans
first embraced Christianity and have successfully applied the principle of love
in marriage life. So the man who behaves well in marriage life is not doing as Europeans,
but is doing the word of God as Christ is doing in showing perfect love towards
his church.
PRECIOUS:
Of all things in the world, what is most precious to a man is his
wife. She is the life-time cross that the man has to carry till death separates
them. All truth, humility, long-suffering and patience should be employed in
the love for his wife. She is the only person with whom you are one flesh in
this world. Something you do to your wife is something you do to yourself.
NOT MONEY:
Money does not show love in marriage. First ask yourself whether
you will be able to carry your wife's cross during sickness, tribulation want
and misfortune. You are her Father in tribulation. You are also her mother. You
are her brother, sister and husband. You are her all in all. You cannot think
of her clothes, health and food without thinking of how you can supply them.
DISAPPOINTMENT:
But disappointment comes when the man who is opposed to be
provident in love, comfort and godliness chooses to deprive his wife of all
these rights simply because he prefers wine, hotel and outside women to his
wife. He leaves his wife too worried to be comfortable. The bad husband causes
his wife to wander and get lost like a sheep without a shepherd.
PUNISHMENT:
And what punishment awaits such husbands? Their punishment should
be heavy for there is no reason why the love of a husband should be turned from
his wife to hotel, bar and outside women. Why should we give our wives stones
instead of bread?
Why then should our wives knock and we refuse to open and admit
them into our bowels of love. Why should we be stone-hearted against the weaker
vessels of the Lord.
Why should we desert them in their poverty. Why should we be bad
shepherds and anti-Christ?
CHRIST SURRENDERED HIS WEALTH:
Christ saw how poor we were, and so, came and surrendered all his
property and heavenly glory and suffered that we might be filled.
He saw how weak we were and so surrendered his strength also that
we might be strengthened. But if we fail to follow this example in loving our
wives, our punishment is indeed great. We are created in the image of God and
Christ. If we do not love our wives, we are no more in the image of Christ and
God is no more in us.
WIFE FINDS GOD IN HER HUSBAND:
All the above mentioned godly qualities, which Christ shows
towards us and His church, are expected to be seen by the wife in her husband.
She finds God in her husband. But supposing the husband does not care to seek,
find and abide in God and his Christ, how can the wife see God in him? How can
a marriage be successful without the head - Christ? Any husband who does not
have Christ, is useless and a house where the man is useless is good for
nothing.
RUINED:
Before now, you were saying; some one has spoilt my house, but
now, you have seen that by telling lies to your wife, causing divisions in
anything with her, and by not loving her as you should, you are the sole cause
of unhappiness in your home. Accept Christ as the head of your house, otherwise
you are ruined already.
JUDGMENT:
If you do not love your wife, you cannot do the work of God and
God cannot give you God-fearing children.
You cannot have any good thing in life. Because you cast your wife
out, you have cast out Christ and all good things. If you desert her and sleep
in some corner in the town, you have deserted Christ.
You have exposed her to the danger of death. You have crucified
Christ a second time. You are a murderer. Cain was asked by God: "Man
where is thy brother?" On the judgment day the husband will be
asked: "Man where is thy wife?" How will you be saved
if you are a bad husband?
YOU NEED CHRIST:
To be a good husband or good shepherd, you need no money, drink or
medicine - all you need Christ. You should use Christ's instructions to keep
your family away from sin, else, their sins will be counted against you.
Christ is calling upon all husbands to come and learn from Him,
how to care for the flock and lay down life for them and have peace and life
eternal. Amen.
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